sarah! first of all good job! interesting perspective from off the ground! its brave of you not to include the ground in your environment design. i often feel it is often hard to achieve the depth/space without adding the ground base to follow through. you've done well! the piece feels little unfinished. i think this is due to the presence of different levels of rendering stages in one illustration. the roof, the architecture, hotel sign, and even the shadow side of the grocery store are carefully rendered compared to how the types of other signs are done. i really believe types have a great power to bring up/pull down the quality of illustration. well designed/drawn types make illustrations bling like jewels. i really think if you worked a little bit more on the writings on the signs it would enhance your drawing tremendously :-) i don't know your story behind this illustration, but i feel some kinda of ominous story behind this design with the compositional elements that you are showing in here (big space of shadowy area in the center of illustration, 'coming soon', stop sign). if what i read from your illustration was your intention, i also wonder if you can make these signs more distinctive so that it helps the story more. for now these important elements kinda blend with the surrounding. if my guess is incorrect about your story behind this design - then dismiss my feedbacks :-)
I like the in class study you did! It kind of has an impressionist look to it and the colors are really interesting and a sophisticated pairing.
Now I'll comment on your in- class assignment. The texture you were able to get on this assignment is really cool. I like how it gets lighter as you move up almost like it's floating. It kind of reminds me of the illustrator for "cloudy with a chance of meatballs."
The cut off signs and stuff are really nice. they make an interesting pattern on the side of the painting and I don't really mind that they aren't fully rendered.
Those two black stripes at the bottom are too dark I think. they lead your eye off the page. also something weird is going on with the side of the striped awning. It isn't in the right perspective for the rest of the picture and it kind of flattens that corner and makes it look less dimensional.
I want to know, what is the story of this little grocery store?
I like your choice of composition. It's different and I think that's what draws your eye to it. I like the simplicity and the texture of your pencil lines. I would work on the type like Hana said, and maybe distinguish the edges of the front of the store and the side wall of the store.
For your value piece I really like the composition and the design. I'm not as big a fan of your pencil work on the shadows. I think doing dark values with a normal pencil is one of the hardest things (that's why I have avoided it like the plague since freshman year) I think with a different medium, or more time spent with the pencil, the values could be pushed more (darker darks, lighter lights) and the overall quality of the rendering could be polished. Over all, very nice :)
That study is the most gorgeous I've seen! Great job! I really like the way you used the pencil in this -- at has a Van Allsberg feel to me that is really nice (that "every detail perfectly rendered out" feel). I would just push that farther! Pick a side of the building and put some more details of what's going on! Perhaps draw people in the windows. Your values are working beautifully -- nice work. I do feel like a foreground element could help. I feel like the composition is screaming to have a figure in it -- perhaps an upshot of someone(s) walking down the street. I think would help with the angle you picked (the bottoms of the buildings aren't included. There needs to be something to focus our eyes on or let us know why you picked this scene, an area of emphasis. Awesome!
The perspective looks pretty good. I like the composition, it's very interesting and gives a pretty good impression of depth. I think it could use a little more detail in a few places, above the building and the lower shadows look a little empty. I think you could also push the values a little more, there's a really nice contrast around the "best prices" sign, and I'd like to see more of that.
SARAAAAABIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Dude, how did you get such a good interior painting done while we were all whipping out all that junk??? SHEESH!
Anyway. Miss you!
Anyway. Hope you're having a good Thanksgiving!
Anyway. I kinda need to know a little more about the background you did. I know it's for a job, so the big open shadow space might be for a title, but I'll just observe what I can for now. For some reason I kinda want to see a little more on the bottom OR a little more on the sides. Just to make things a little less off center. The big open space is right in the middle. Also, I think it would be nice to see a little more dark darks. Like under the overhang for instance. Also, I wouldn't mind if the sky is totally white. I dunno. But i love the scene and signs and mood and everything :).
And now it looks like I have my seven critique comments... Thanks Hana, Kinsey, Kelsey, Will, Josh, Emily, and Brooke! I appreciate your thoughtful feedback and you guys have some good ideas to make this piece work better. You guys are all awesome :D
sarah! first of all good job! interesting perspective from off the ground! its brave of you not to include the ground in your environment design. i often feel it is often hard to achieve the depth/space without adding the ground base to follow through. you've done well!
ReplyDeletethe piece feels little unfinished. i think this is due to the presence of different levels of rendering stages in one illustration. the roof, the architecture, hotel sign, and even the shadow side of the grocery store are carefully rendered compared to how the types of other signs are done. i really believe types have a great power to bring up/pull down the quality of illustration. well designed/drawn types make illustrations bling like jewels. i really think if you worked a little bit more on the writings on the signs it would enhance your drawing tremendously :-)
i don't know your story behind this illustration, but i feel some kinda of ominous story behind this design with the compositional elements that you are showing in here (big space of shadowy area in the center of illustration, 'coming soon', stop sign). if what i read from your illustration was your intention, i also wonder if you can make these signs more distinctive so that it helps the story more. for now these important elements kinda blend with the surrounding. if my guess is incorrect about your story behind this design - then dismiss my feedbacks :-)
sarah,
ReplyDeleteI like the in class study you did! It kind of has an impressionist look to it and the colors are really interesting and a sophisticated pairing.
Now I'll comment on your in- class assignment.
The texture you were able to get on this assignment is really cool. I like how it gets lighter as you move up almost like it's floating. It kind of reminds me of the illustrator for "cloudy with a chance of meatballs."
The cut off signs and stuff are really nice. they make an interesting pattern on the side of the painting and I don't really mind that they aren't fully rendered.
Those two black stripes at the bottom are too dark I think. they lead your eye off the page. also something weird is going on with the side of the striped awning. It isn't in the right perspective for the rest of the picture and it kind of flattens that corner and makes it look less dimensional.
I want to know, what is the story of this little grocery store?
I like your choice of composition. It's different and I think that's what draws your eye to it. I like the simplicity and the texture of your pencil lines. I would work on the type like Hana said, and maybe distinguish the edges of the front of the store and the side wall of the store.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say your color study is AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteFor your value piece I really like the composition and the design. I'm not as big a fan of your pencil work on the shadows. I think doing dark values with a normal pencil is one of the hardest things (that's why I have avoided it like the plague since freshman year) I think with a different medium, or more time spent with the pencil, the values could be pushed more (darker darks, lighter lights) and the overall quality of the rendering could be polished. Over all, very nice :)
That study is the most gorgeous I've seen! Great job! I really like the way you used the pencil in this -- at has a Van Allsberg feel to me that is really nice (that "every detail perfectly rendered out" feel). I would just push that farther! Pick a side of the building and put some more details of what's going on! Perhaps draw people in the windows. Your values are working beautifully -- nice work. I do feel like a foreground element could help. I feel like the composition is screaming to have a figure in it -- perhaps an upshot of someone(s) walking down the street. I think would help with the angle you picked (the bottoms of the buildings aren't included. There needs to be something to focus our eyes on or let us know why you picked this scene, an area of emphasis. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteThe perspective looks pretty good. I like the composition, it's very interesting and gives a pretty good impression of depth. I think it could use a little more detail in a few places, above the building and the lower shadows look a little empty. I think you could also push the values a little more, there's a really nice contrast around the "best prices" sign, and I'd like to see more of that.
ReplyDeleteAlso, your painted study looks really good!
SARAAAAABIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Dude, how did you get such a good interior painting done while we were all whipping out all that junk??? SHEESH!
ReplyDeleteAnyway. Miss you!
Anyway. Hope you're having a good Thanksgiving!
Anyway. I kinda need to know a little more about the background you did. I know it's for a job, so the big open shadow space might be for a title, but I'll just observe what I can for now. For some reason I kinda want to see a little more on the bottom OR a little more on the sides. Just to make things a little less off center. The big open space is right in the middle. Also, I think it would be nice to see a little more dark darks. Like under the overhang for instance. Also, I wouldn't mind if the sky is totally white. I dunno. But i love the scene and signs and mood and everything :).
And now it looks like I have my seven critique comments... Thanks Hana, Kinsey, Kelsey, Will, Josh, Emily, and Brooke! I appreciate your thoughtful feedback and you guys have some good ideas to make this piece work better. You guys are all awesome :D
ReplyDelete